by Dawn L. Billings, founder of RelationshipHelp.com
“I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.” Martin Luther King, Jr.
The CAPABLES Child Development System™ is a step-by-step parenting guide to building character and compassion in the hearts of your children. It is easy to implement and focuses on developing Greatness, Relationship skills, Emotional intelligence, Affect/Attitude management, and Thought management with a toy as the tool.
Building character in the hearts of your children and within the heart of your family can be broken into four essential steps:
PICK YOUR POSSIBILITY
PREPARE TO SUCCEED
MAKE AND KEEP PROMISES
PUT YOUR CHARACTER PRINCIPLES INTO PRACTICE
Step I: PICK YOUR POSSIBILITY
Dream the biggest dream you can dream for your children and family. If you could choose to be any kind of family, what kind of family would you choose to be? If you could have extraordinary children, how extraordinary would they be? Everything begins with a dream—your dream. All great families are first and foremost only a dream in the hearts of two lovers. Pick what values and commitments will form your family’s foundation. Visualize all you believe to be possible for your family. ? The sky is the limit. This is not a place to be shy, or settle for less than the best.
Choose to be Great– Greatness is never an accident. It is always a choice followed by right action. Take responsibility. As the parent, you must choose between mediocrity and excellence for your family. Choose to be great.
Choose the Best – There are many resources available for you and your children. Choose the best of them. What we feed the hearts and minds of our children is what they will give back to the world. We believe The CAPABLES Parenting Tool & G.R.E.A.T. Child Development System™ is the best tool any parent can use to develop great character qualities in their children.
Choose to Connect – Choose to connect with your children. Real Success is found in the quality of relationships in one’s life. This is also a place to help your children understand that character and success are connected. Whether it is in school, relationships or business, success is directly related to developing qualities of character.
Choose to Commit – Make a personal commitment to develop your own character, relationship skills and communication skills. Your children are watching everything you do and they will repeat what they see. Be the miracle you wish to see your children grow to be and they will follow.
Step II: PREPARE TO SUCCEED
You must invest time, effort, and money in gathering the information and tools that will aid you in developing character, life skills and emotional and relational skills in your children.
Evaluate honestly– Evaluate where you currently are. Identify your weaknesses and strengths in a loving but honest way. Gather the tools you will need to plant the seeds of character consciousness and compassion in the hearts of your children.
Educate broadly – There are many resources for you to choose from. Investigate them and learn about them. We believe The CAPABLES Parenting Tool & G.R.E.A.T. Child Development System™ is one of the most comprehensive, effective, delightful and easy ways to mold your child(ren)’s character, virtues, values and strengthen their hearts and minds.
Emulate greatness – Find other parents who are succeeding at parenting their children in powerful and wonderful ways and emulate them. As you do this, teach your children to emulate greatness as well. We learn so much from the wisdom and experience of others and emulating greatness can save us a great deal of time, effort and frustration along the way.
Step III: MAKE & KEEP PROMISES
Once you have selected and gathered the tools, and have chosen the direction and dream for your family, it is important that you make promises to yourself and your children about your dedication to using the tools consistently. (We have made this easy to do Promises Pillows). Nothing is as sacred as the covenants and promises we make. Keeping our promises requires that we understand:
Duty– Duty is a task or covenant taken on by someone that requires commitment and work. What are your duties to your children, and your children’s duties to the family?
Dedication– To be dedicated is to be devoted or committed to something. Each member of your family must understand the values your family is dedicated to. This is where you take the time to brainstorm, agree on, and write down a list of the values you are dedicated to as a family. Once you have written them down, sign them and put them in the “Stand tall” pocket of your children’s Capables®. Once placed there, the list of values can be easily referenced and utilized.
Diligence– Diligence is making a persistent and hard-working effort toward a goal. All promises require that we are diligent in keeping them. All success requires that we are diligent with our actions toward achieving it. We must be as diligent about keeping the promises that are easy, “I will love you with every cell of my body”, and those that are more difficult “I will be consistent in enforcing the consequences that are appropriate for my child’s choices and actions, even if doing so causes both of us to cry.
Step IV: PUT YOUR CHARACTER CONCEPTS INTO PRACTICE
Now that you have chosen your possibility which directs your path and direction, and prepared yourself by seeking and finding the most useful and effective tools, and made promises that you are willing with duty, dedication and diligence to keep, you need to act, or put into practice, the techniques and tools you have chosen. As you take action and use the Capables™ and other tools you have chosen—remember to BE:
Prayerful – Go to a source that you trust and depend upon. Seek guidance and confirmation along the way through prayer.
Playful – The Capables™ help make parenting fun for both you and your child. They help you with discipline and teaching a game that you and your child will enjoy.
Patient – Parenting is a life-long journey. There will never be a time when your children cannot benefit from your love and wise counsel. There will be ups and downs. Life flows like a river. Don’t attempt to fight the current. Allow The CAPABLES Parenting Tool & G.R.E.A.T. Child Development System™to help you flow and grow with your children.
Present – Live your life in the present. Do not attempt to live in the past or future. The only time that exists is the moment you are living now. Live in the present and treat each moment as the gift that it is for you and your children. Remembering to Be Present, will be a present to your children and family.
Poised – Parenting is stressful. Life is stressful. Commit yourself to handling difficulties with poise and grace. Train yourself to not sweat the small stuff and to discern between what is worth losing your composure over and what is not. Children watch and learn from your choices and actions. When you are calm, you children learn to be calm in crisis as well.
Positive – There are only two ways to live life as though everything is a miracle or as if nothing were a miracle. (Albert Einstein) Choose to be positive. A positive attitude and outlook on life will serve both you and your children well. Scriptures tell us in Proverbs that “As a man thinketh, so is he.” Thoughts are things. Taking control of your thoughts is a critical part of success and happiness. This high level concept is easily taught in a very tangible and concrete way to young children using the Think-A-Head Pocket located in the Capables™ head.
Powerful – You are not your child’s friend. You are their parent. It is not that parents cannot be friends, but too many parents sacrifice their responsibilities and power as parents to become friends with their children. You must use the power that you have as a parent for the benefit of your children. You must not settle, but powerfully and lovingly stand for the best for your children. This is not always easy. In fact, most times it is difficult. This is where you need to draw your power from a higher source. It is your power to love, guide, inspire, encourage, limit, and discipline your children that will mold and strengthen them.
I asked for strength, And God gave me difficulties to make me strong. I asked for wisdom And God gave me problems to solve. I asked for prosperity And God gave me a brain and brawn to work. I asked for courage And God gave me danger to overcome. I asked for love And God gave me troubled people to help. I asked for favors And God gave me opportunities.
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In 2008 Dawn was selected by Oprah Magazine and The White House project as one of 80 emerging women leaders in the nation. Dawn L Billings is a serial entrepreneur and a communication and personality expert. Dawn is the creator/founder of the RelationshipHelp.com programs, including RelationshipHelpAtHome.com and the luxury RelationshipHelpResort.com in Arizona.
Dawn is the CEO and Founder of The Heart Link Women’s Network, and the architect of the Primary Colors Personality Test and Insight Tools, founder of OverJOYed Life and creator of the Happiness Curriculum.
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